Heart palpitations - is it spiritual or physical dilemma?
(Disclaimer- you should always get medically checked first and be cleared before making assumption that its a spiritual cause alone)
My heart palpitations and anxiety started back in early 2015. Mind you, things had started to stir internally since Sept 2014 as soon I had received news of passing optometry conversion exams in-order to work in Australia. You see, I should have been elated and over the moon after long process of doing written exams and travelling to other side of world to sit the practical exams. I should have been over the moon, as me and my little family could finally move. However, I did not feel that intense joy and feeling or being over the moon. Instead, I was filled with a deep sense of emptiness - I just couldn’t explain it. I felt lost and confused as to why I was feeling all this. This was just the very beginning of my depression & anxiety.
As 2015 came along, I was forced into the past of what happened 10 years prior. It's obvious now, that I had not processed the painful event back. It came back 10 years later to be fully processed and heal from that event. Why 10 years later? I strongly believe that it was the right time for my soul to process that event.
I kept repeatedly having to face that past event to a point that my palpitations got so severe that I had to stop work. My work required me to drive, a task I could no longer carry out. This in turn made my depression worse by sitting at home and ruminating. I felt like I was in a dark tunnel with no light visible at all. I realised years later, that this was the Dark Night of The Soul (DNOTS) that your soul forces you through. I went to GP and got all clear from all heart examinations that he sent me for. All he wanted to do was to send me off with a bunch of antidepressants! I was like, really, no psychologist or therapy referral. Just straight away here you go, you have depression, go and pop some pills!
In my head, I shouted NO, there has to be another way. I have seen many that end up on antidepressants for life and didn't want to be on that path. I was forced by my palpitations to go inwards. I started to meditating on my heart beating away. I pictured my physical heart pumping and beating away as a meditation focus. I could hear it beat so loud until one day, I had cleared the emotional pain that had laid there dormant for 10 years. A massive light bulb moment happened.
I gained immense clarity, peace and bliss. I finally came out of the dark tunnel & discovered the light from within. Some would call this a spiritual awakening. I saw the bigger picture of everything and everyone. I instantly forgave those who caused the immense pain.
So in my case, the palpitations were a definite sign that my soul was pushing me to go inwards and heal the past and awaken. My heart was trying to tell me something through palpitations. Its only in recent years, I realised that it was a somatic processing & release that I had done back in 2015. Trauma is really stored in the body.
You see without pain, why would you seek to go deep into the depths of your being? I see that there are two ways that a person in depression can go; either to sink to the depths of despair and never come out. Or they can chose to go inwards and heal themselves / receive help in their healing. Depression is one way that the Divine forces us to make that decision either way. Without pain you wouldn’t even bother to go inwards unless you’re on a slow awakening path. ( by slow, I mean those who are not going through pain but have started to ask the Big Life questions and start to go inwards)
Want to explore how Somatic therapy can help clear your past, I invite you to book a discovery call:
